Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Day 3

Get It Down; 31 for 21

So, I just got done reading my blogging friend, Laurie's, post. She wrote about her "initiation to the Ds club." the story of Chase and how she found out he had Down syndrome. You can read her story here

While reading her story I found tears just streaming down my face. It's weird how reading her story I was immediately taken back to Ella's birth and can feel all of the pain, her words could have come straight from my mouth. It is amazing to me how so many of our stories are the same, it really is some club that we are in isn't it?

Laurie talked about initially feeling sad about not having her "perfect family" and mourning the loss of the little boy she dreamed of. I remember when I found out that Ella was going to be a girl and dreaming about all the things that entails, will she be a tomboy like me? or will she be super girly? will we be as close as my mom and me and will I get to be a huge part of her children's lives? I've come to terms with the fact that some things won't happen, I think I am done mourning the loss of the "daughter of my dreams", the future grandchildren etc. I have realized that I got the greatest blessing ever and that Ella is so much more than I could have dreamed of. I really do mean that. Ella is just so amazing and now I know that my life would not have been complete without her. I still have my worries, believe me. I am so scared of the future for her and tend to try really hard to not let my mind go there. Mostly I worry about her being treated unfairly and her being hurt. I will say that I don't worry about her being happy and most of all loved. That girl has SO many cheerleaders, and so many who just love her for her.

Okay now I am done with the emotional stuff, that's all I can take. BIG NEWS....... ELLA PULLED TO STANDING IN HER CRIB TODAY!!! I can not even tell you how excited I was!!! She was supposed to be taking a nap and I just peaked in to make sure she was still asleep because her brother was being very loud and there she was sitting on one knee with one leg sticking out to the side, she saw me pulled up with her arms and there she was standing like a big girl!!! And as always she was quite pleased with herself, and she should be!!!!!!!!!!!


Laurie said...

Not that I like making everyone cry, but I do love that so many people can relate to all of those emotions. It makes it a lot easier to go through when you know you are not alone.

I love reading about you and Ella. You always make me smile and appreciate the little things.

...and WAY TO GO, ELLA!!

Shannon said...

YAY ELLA!!! She amazes me...soon she'll be WALKING over to steal Ian's pacifier! He'll just have to get more convincing at waving his arms around since he's never going to crawl! Ha ha...