Tuesday, June 12, 2007

A Life Time Ago

Isn't she adorable? It seems like a life time ago that those pictures were taken. Ella was such a sweet baby, (still is) and so cute. I miss her being that small, but I wouldn't want to go back to that time in my life.

It should have been a happy time, but it wasn't. Looking at this picture of me holding Ella I can still see the pain in my eyes and remember what I was thinking that day. We had just come back from a baby shower for a baby girl that was born 8 days after Ella. I remember sitting at the shower and thinking, why was Ella born with Down syndrome and this baby was born "typical." I was thinking, I bet she (the mom) is so glad her baby wasn't born with Down syndrome. Those days really were dark for me. I guess maybe I do wish I could go back to that time, knowing what I know now. I was far too racked with worry and fear, and don't get me wrong I still experience those things every now and then, but my life just seems so "normal" to me now. Ella is just like any other baby just on her own time.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Just wanted to say we love you! As future in-laws, I guess that's good. ;) I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more during that time. I can't imagine how hard it was for you. I guess, I felt like you might resent me b/c I had one of those "typical" babies. Anyway. I love you, and I hope you know that you never have to bear that much pain alone again. Not only do you have a Saviour that love and cares for you. I do too, and I will always be here for you!