Thursday, July 3, 2008

Disclaimer on below post....

This is from Chris...



OK, looking at the most recent comments, I am fully aware that my post completely backfired on me. I wanted for people to learn from my mistakes. My MISTAKES, I screwed it all up. In hindsight I know what I should have done, I didn't do it and that is that. My goal was not for everyone to tell Kacey what a great husband I am; because truth be told, I am not. I messed up at almost every turn like I was following a checklist. I am not apoligizing for anything and I am not asking for forgiveness. Some wounds are just to big and we don't have enough time to fix them all.

10 comments:

Jennifer said...

Let me clarify. It made my heart happy for you to admit those mistakes and that you know that your investment needs to be in your marriage. You guys are so great. Both of you. KC, you are an AMAZING mother, and wife, and friend. Chris, you ARE a good father, and husband, and friend....and cop. :) We love and miss you guys so much!!!!

lisa w. said...

I have been checking in on your beautiful children and the inspiring story that you have chosen to share. I am new to this whole blogging thing, but have been checking in on Cayman's progress and found Kasey's blog. What I find inspiring is that you were willing to share your mistakes (and we all make them) and to be completely honest about the whole process. I am the mother of four children--my oldest either had a seizure when he was born or just quit breathing. He has been basically "normal"--although diagnosed with attention deficit disorder in kindergarten. I have had a conversation with a friend whose son was born with DS and we have had some similar experiences--at opposite ends of the spectrum. She has been offended by people who make exceptions because he "looks" disabled, where my son is expected to behave normally because he "looks" normal. I have not had the luxury of an "understanding" husband, but we have been at this for over twenty years. I think you were on the right track by admitting where you have failed and making those necessary changes for the future. Some hurts can't be solved with words, but my prayer for you and your family is that God will give you strength as a couple and as a family to continue sharing your story. It definitely won't get easier, but trust God that He has a beautiful story to tell in your family.
Blessings.

Chris said...

Chris--you didn't mess up at every turn. If you had, you would not be posting on Kacey's blog. I, and I'm sure my husband, can relate to so much of what you have shared.

I need to disagree with Lisa W. when she says "it definitely won't get easier." It just might get easier. Trust in Ella; she is beautiful and amazing and she may lead you the most wonderful places.

Anonymous said...

Chris you are an amazing person to take ownership of your mistakes and want to share them with others, that is part of the healing process. Both of you are great people and I know God has a plan. I stand by my comment on the other posting you are great father and husband (and brother,of course) and I am SO PROUD of the man that you ARE! We miss you all terribly and love you bunches! Kisses to the kiddos!--Tami and family

lisa w. said...

I did not mean to offend. When I stated "it definitely won't get easier" I was speaking about issues with our children that will always crop up. Sometimes those issues are small, and sometimes "crisis mode". But, they are our children and God has placed them within our families for a reason--because we are the best parents for them. I do agree with Chris: Trust Ella. She is beautiful and amazing and she may lead you to the most wonderful places.

Your honesty and truth will be honored by two very amazing children. Blessings as you raise them with that kind of integrity.

Mary said...

Hello you two... Chris it is nice to hear the story from your perspective. Through this journey we have been on with Riley and learning about DS I have discovered that we all have had differences and similarities in our reaction and how we have dealt the initial shock of someone telling our children would some how be less than perfect. I think as women we tend to talk talk talk about our stories and find outlets that let us share our stories. We find comfort in each other. As a man you aren't encouraged to deal and heal in the same way. I admire that you took the time to tell your story and try to help the other dads that find your blog our like Justin today who was forced to read it when I shoved my laptop in his face and said "read this"! So what do I get from him as a reacation "hmmff" So what does that mean? Well what I have learned is that in man speak that means "agreed... now leave me alone" I'm sure that eventually I will get a big more detail out of him after he digests it all but for today.

Now as far as making mistakes or not that is for you and Kasey to decide and learn and grow from in your relationship as parents. We all make mistakes or decisions we wish we could take back or change. The really important thing is that we keep moving and living and growing from the lessons that these choices we have made have taught us.

I haven't known you and Kasey that long but I do have to agree that you have an amazing wife. I truely believe that God had a plan for all of us when he brought you all to Spokane. He knew we all needed some good friends in a similar situation. There is something that those who do not have a child with DS will never understand about our lives and how they have changed over the last two years. It is such a comfort to have found a friend to share the journey with. It is also very comforting to me that Justin has another guy to share the experience with because though you crazy guys don't deal with things the same way your chatty wives do you still need a friend to comiserate with when your wife wigs out on you and slips into super crisis mode. And just for the record there is nothing wrong with crisis mode... Some of us do it very well :-) Well enough blabbing. Thank you both for sharing your beautiful children with the world and good night.

Kari said...

I still think your wonderful! Well it takes a big person to admit they made mistakes. My kiddos Dad is no where to be found. Tristan doesn't even know him. He has never even been to the hospital for surgery or admissions, nothing. In my eyes your there your admitting you made mistakes that's huge. You appreciate your wife for being the fabulous person she is. That must mean alot to her too.

Kele said...

I am always a fan of heartfelt honesty.
You guys are a beautiful family and I love checking in on you all!

Shannon said...

Being able to recognize and admit to mistakes is one of the things that makes a good husband/father/leader...it's one of the earmarks of humility. We're not applauding the mistakes themselves, but I think we all recognize that we've made similar ones ourselves, and perhaps not had the courage to publically own them.

Of all the things you said, I particularly relate to the call to make marriage the priority it should be. It, not the parent-child relationship, must be central (and this includes having God as the integral ingredient)...only with that foundation can parenting be approached the way it was meant to be anyway. :) Thank you for the encouragement, and much love to all of you!

Mary said...

Glad we all got to hang out this weekend. We all had fun. I was checking back for pictures of the amazing DS support group/play date. Guess I'll get to see them when we are home from the big camping trip. You better have added new posts by them :-)

Love you guys!
M