Wednesday, October 9, 2013

31 for 21: All day was rough

I picked Ella up from school today and both her special ed teacher and her gen ed teacher were waiting to talk to me. Apparently Ella had a rough day.  In my opinion it sounds like it was just an off day, it's not like she was screaming in class or beating up kids or anything just a serious of refusing to do stuff and lots of trips to the bathroom and some sitting and sucking her thumb and a whole lot of telling her teachers "I miss my mommy." Not huge things but definitely some things that she knows she is not supposed to do.  This is the first time that they have brought anything negative to my attention so far this school year (except for the bathroom thing and turns out she is having some bladder issues, spasms to be exact.)

So why is it that I came home and cried?  I get so frustrated. Part of my frustration is with the school. Part of my frustration is with Ella, mostly in that she can't tell me why she had a cruddy day. And most of my frustration is with my self.  Why do I get so upset....well because I cannot help but think that they will use this day against us at the IEP meeting next month to say that gen ed isn't working.  Is it realistic to say that after one day? I don't know? Some of the things that were said at the meetings we had before school started have me on edge and a lot of what they said let me know that they thought this much gen ed time was a bad idea.  I understand that days like today need to not happen. I really do. I don't know what the answer is. I wish that the kid had an aide, with an aide I think the teachers wouldn't feel the pressure and I would at least know what goes on at school.  Ugh. It's just been a crappy day.

Here are my kiddos tonight after dinner.....


Lori said...

Feel free to weep those tears about school and being frustrated as you look for the right answers. Goodness - I have cried an ocean over the last year - and especially the last month.
We'll be praying that God's will for Ella's schooling will be clear to all -- whether it gen ed, special ed, special school - what have you -- and that your heart can find peace in whatever decisions you make.

Becca said...

I totally get this. I've had that same worry (about them pouncing on us with the idea that GenEd isn't working) whenever we've gotten reports home. BUT, and this is something my husband pointed out, it's entirely possible that a lot of the things Sammi's doing are the same kinds of things the other kids do, who either don't get caught, or just don't have an aide there who's writing things down for their parents. I totally appreciate the notes Sammi's aide writes, when she tells us what Sammi refused to do, when she didn't keep her hands to herself, when she didn't come in at the whistle from recess, when she untied her shoes repeatedly, when she refused to do math, etc. We *need* to know those things to be able to talk to Samantha about it when she gets home. But seeing them all together like that on the page makes us sometimes feel like perhaps it's just her and that they're HUGE issues, and I don't necessarily think that's the case. Perhaps it's the same with Ella? Hang in there...all kids (and mommies) have good days and bad days.